Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
