she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
