Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
