Christians are straight up FREAKS
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Randomize
