New invention idea: vibrating tampons
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
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