Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
