i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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