This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
