what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
