Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
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After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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