I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
