Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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