How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize