you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
