dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
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