Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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