The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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