Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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