Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize
