You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
