whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
