Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
