I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Randomize
