new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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