Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
