Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Randomize
