very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
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I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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