Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
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