You're my little dorito
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
