I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
