Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Randomize
