The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize