she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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