Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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