i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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