I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Randomize
