my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize