p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
this will be a night to untag.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
