Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
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