New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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