I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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