Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Randomize
