Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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