i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
