i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
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