Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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