While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
