I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Apparently you make a good broom.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Randomize
