why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
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