the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
and you fell through a lawn chair
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
