Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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