If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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