How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
You ruined the universe
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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