I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize
