Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
