I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
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