Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
