Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
